I had functioned beneath my altitude because someone told me, in words or in deed, that I couldn’t fly.
Does a new car or new job determine your value? Or, perhaps it’s the parent that rejected you at birth?
Could it be the fact that someone laughed at your idea, or ignored you when they walked by? What about the leader who overlooked you or possibly chose your friend to be on their team instead of you?
Maybe it’s the husband or wife who walked away? Or, the clothes that you wear?
I remember struggling with all of the above in some form or fashion and at some point and time. What a roller coaster ride I was on; and it made me dizzy!
One of my greatest challenges was with hearing God tell me that I was ‘special’ and the ‘apple of His eye’ (Zechariah 2:8), yet reeling emotionally from the stings of rejection.
The fact that I had heard the words, “Who would want a woman with 2 children by different fathers?” and “I would listen to you if you were saying something important!”, this after having poured out my heart and sharing my feelings of hurt; wanting…no, needing love, acceptance and understanding.
And, the looks I received when I pulled out food stamps to buy my groceries; Oh, and when I applied for the Accounting program at college and the so called ‘Advisor’ said, “This program is pretty rigorous. Maybe you should consider a different major” as if I didn’t have the capacity to succeed in a “rigorous” program! It was these kinds of situations, over and over, that just did not reconcile with God’s statement to me — that I was ‘special’.
Then one day, sitting at my desk at work, filled with pain and despair; mulling over the countless disappointments of life, I asked God angrily, “If I’m so special, why do people hurt me and treat me this way?!?” God’s immediate response changed my life (and my thoughts) forever!
In turn, He asked me a question. “Will you let someone who had nothing to do with you being here, determine your worth and value?!” I knew the ‘here’ was not my job, sitting at my desk. The ‘here’ was having life!
There was almost an indignance in His words; a ‘how dare you’, if you will. “I did all the work in creating you, determined your personality and purposes for which I made you, and you let someone or something else override what I say about you?”
His words were strong. His words were cutting. But what they cut was not my flesh. His words cut the cords that had been holding me captive for so many years — the idea that people’s response and treatment of me somehow determined my value; how far I could go; how much I could learn; how successful I could become.
I had been bound and didn’t even know it! I had functioned beneath my altitude because someone told me, in words or in deed, that I couldn’t fly.
At that cutting, the scales came off my eyes, the yoke from around my neck and the lie I had believed was chased away by TRUTH!
I have been created for success! I AM special!
It has been many years since that day, and I am off the roller coaster ride. No longer am I slowly taken up to the top by the applause of men and then swiftly dropped to the bottom, by their gut-wrenching disapproval.
Every time that tie comes to try to bind me again, I use the words that cut the cord. “Will you let someone who has nothing to do with you being here determine your worth and value?!” “Absolutely not!” I say. Absolutely not.
Whether I am chosen or cheered, loved or revered, neglected or rejected — God’s words have become my stabilizing force.
What do YOU say?